The Things That I Think I Understand

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.”
                                                             — Iyanla Vanzant

I sat in a coffee shop with an old friend this past Thanksgiving Monday and we talked about a lot of things, and what always strikes me after we talk is how the conversation always seems to shed light on the notion that how we see the world is our most defining characteristic.  After a lot of years of hearing the most challenging things every day, things that don't seem to make much sense, and after rising and falling with the tides of my life, this is what I've come to understand...

- your own story is a powerful thing, and if it isn't, you're not writing it properly.

- always speak up...always say what you believe to be true...never take anyone's sh!t.

- gentleness is our greatest strength.

- seek value and purpose before you go looking for anything else.

- never, ever be less than what you might be...never.

- somewhere there is someone that thinks that you're the greatest thing since oxygen...find that person.

- don't sit back and let dreams stay dreams.

- people should respect you, or not...they can find grey areas in liking you, but not respecting you.

- if you like someone then you can say whatever you need to..if they like you, they'll accept it.

- don't trust liars or desperate people.

- there are a lot of reasons but not very many excuses.

- have standards, and wear them like war medals.

- believe in people, ideas, and yourself.

- it's rarely as bad as you think it is, and then sometimes it's worse.

- listen to your gut.

- understand that everyone is fallible, then prop them up as best as you can.

- there are a lot of people with pretty crowded paths and only they can navigate them.

- say it if it's important.

- who we are is up to us, but we all need to be shown a few things.

- it's impossible to understand another person, but you can still accept them.

- sometimes we have to fail...have to.

- you'll know the people who will change your life when you see them, but you might not really see them for years.

- hope is stronger than love.

- there's cutting your losses and there's quitting...never quit.

- integrity takes a long time to cultivate, but if you can...

- there are a billion people out there dying to know you, and a whole bunch who know you already and don't value you. You choose who you want to invest in.

- everything's going to be alright...it will.

- you never know who will save your life, or why

- you probably have no idea what people think of you. Live your life so that if you did know, you'd blush.

- people will never forget how you make them feel...never.

- when someone shows you who they really are, believe in the truth of that moment.

- it's important to be able to take punches, but giving them right back is really important too

- I really like people who really like me

- courage is the most important thing

- resiliency is firmly rooted to your options

- don't let other people dictate the direction of your life

- fear is good

- you have to be proud of yourself or things get confusing

- bad things that happen make bad things happen, period.

- don't take yourself so seriously...we're all occasional idiots.