An Antidote For Shrinking...

It's an incredible video. SO incredible that I wish my daughter were old enough to absorb it now. I think I've found the most profound lessons in the past decade in slam poetry, and it's no surprise...it's a medium that takes traditionally gagged young people and sets their mouths and minds free. It's brilliant.

Lily makes me think, as the lone man in my home, what is it that I endorse...stifle...shy away from, or talk over. How do I support or suppress my own daughters? Already Zoey is quick to apologize for miscues, and it makes my stomach flip each time, and yet...there it is. "Sorry Daddy," and my heart breaks. I need not get so upset...need not demand so much, so often...need to pick my battles...pick my heart for what matters most...not furrow my brow and watch her shrink.

 It's tough sometimes being on the opposite side of all of those layers of oppression, especially the systemic stuff...the cultural stuff...it's tough sometimes, if you have a conscience and a propensity to think, to be white, male, large and not often intimidated...to speak your mind, and loudly...to feel accomplished and anchored down by nothing. It's tough because so much of what I am, have, and will be comes from those five things that all came to me so naturally. I've never had to work for attention, nor have I ever stumbled into someone that didn't assume that I was capable. I've been given opportunities and steered clear of pitfalls, often, and thoughtlessly, because I was white, male, large and not often intimidated...because I was speaking my mind and loudly, and because I had accomplished things and was anchored down by nothing.

 If I'm a good man then it'll show in my daughters. If I could be better, well...I hope we don't ever catch a glimpse of that in their eyes. I've never been scared of failing at much, but this time I'm petrified.