The Undeniably Hilarity of Fresh Fatherhood
Being a Dad can be a comedy of errors, misjudgments, outdated or misguided efforts, and assorted mistakes, but it can also be ridiculous in it's hilarity. We're guys, and we can't exactly apologize for it, but there are some things that we approach in, uhmmm, unique ways.
When Zoey was a baby I managed to escape getting pooped on. June didn't. Mind you, June got in there like a West Virginia miner, fearless and confident, as only Moms do. Diaper after diaper, nothing phased her. This time around, after watching a particularly shocking squirting poop incident with Mom and Maggie, I never ventured to change a diaper without wearing a full body Jethro-style bib. Who needs poop on their belly as an adult? No one, that's who. Here's how you manage what I'm forever referring to as The Daddy Maneuver.
Lay the baby on a blanket on her change table...leave the bulk of the blanket, or towel, hanging below the baby, in front of you. Lift the blanket or towel and tuck the loose, dangling end into your collar, thus...
It's an easy thing to manage, and well beyond practical...certainly a by-product of fear, and absolutely, 100% effective. Guaranteed not to end up with poop on your belly.
Nobody ever accused me of not creatively using my noggin'...well once, but the charges were dropped.