Pants of Fire...

Today I was lied about, and it bothered me.  Of course it would, but this really bothered me, and I sort of short circuited and didn't know how to confront the person.

I overheard the telephone conversation...

"We've got a guy that would be perfect to talk to Kyle (fake name, obviously).  He's a counselor with the Board and he's seen it all, been there, done that...he's been involved with drugs, and dropped out of school, and the police, and he's bounced back to do this.  He's great and the kids love him."

What?

I'm reserving my judgement for a time when I can better approach this Vice-Principal, of all people, without tearing her apart.  Was she lying to a parent, or does she really believe that since I counsel kids with addictions issues, and kids experiencing homelessness etc...that I have experienced similar things? That's not what I was able to accurately pin down, and so I'm pausing to reflect on the situation a little.  Is she one of those people, and I've met countless numbers of them, who believe firmly that if this is what you do...what I do, that you must be intimately connected to those experiences. It's offensive, but I try to interpret that as ignorance, and a sign that I'm a better person than you.

I am intimately connected to the things that happen to these kids, because I was a kid, and I know what it's like to feel like there isn't anyone listening, or even asking the right questions...because I know what it's like to feel adrift...because I'm not naive and my body has known both drugs and alcohol...because I experienced trauma, in the form of a car accident that nearly killed me, or left me in a wheelchair...you know who my friends were those endless weeks in the hospital?  People in halos, and paraplegics, and nary a person not in a wheelchair in sight...I understand trauma.  I am intimately connected to those kids because one day I looked up and I had two families, the only one I'd ever known and then a new one I hadn't expected, complete with Step-Mother and new, strange siblings.  I am intimately connected to them because I had friends that chose the wrong path, and friends that died, and aside from a friend or two I searched and searched for the people that I belonged to.  I am intimately connected because I've been lonely and I've felt pushed around.  I've made mistakes and I've wished that things were different. I was never homeless. I was loved.  I was never addicted, but I made some pretty bad decisions.  I never knew the inside of a police car or cell, but I did things that I'm not proud of.  I wasn't naive, or completely innocent but I wasn't what she had just made me out to be on the telephone. I am intimately connected to these kids because I am a human being, no better than them, and I know that sometimes, I don't know anything.

Being lied about has never left me as unsettled as it has today, and I don't know if I'm angry, or upset, or just like one of the kids I work with.

There's a reason why I do exactly what I do?  Here's the thing, I'm not going to take the time to explain to you who I am or exactly what that is, but I'll be bold enough to say that you should wish your child knew someone that does the same. I've said it countless times before and I'll say it countless times again, there are plenty of people in charge of your most valuable possessions who I wouldn't trust with things as infinitely less valuable as my own story.  I'm learning every day to trust less and question more, and when you find a good thing, soak it up for all it's worth.

I hope that whoever is reading this tonight isn't the parent that was just lied to today.