Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Whole Truth...

Here's the hard part about this brand new baby thing...

You don't know exactly what to do, and no matter how many times you've done this, or how many times anyone has ever in the history of the planet done this, it's different each new time. 

Everyone has some kind of advice. 

Sleep is important so when you don't have it, well... 

Most people's ideas of what helps, doesn't. 

People are gonna tell you that your baby is beautiful but it's bullsh!t 'cause they're just squishy and banged up milk sponges at this point.

If Vegas laid odds on what the percentage was of people who did this and then had totally skewed versions of how they managed it, I'd lay one down on the 75% and higher line because most people are better at mis-remembering than remembering. 

It's not that just feels like ?$%! more than it doesn't. 

You never like to see your partner in this crime upset and frustrated. 

As a Dad, you never get used to that instant unintentional relegation to third or fourth place. 

If you're doing this right, intimacy between you and your spouse might never be higher. 

All you ever need are small little windows of hope...tiny little breaks of silence, or acquiescence. All it takes is a chance to breathe, get your wits and dive back into the fray. Those breaks...f$%^king amazing. 

Two beers a night helps...tall-boys, trust me. It's a $5 fix. 

We will never, ever even imagine that we know what we're doing. We're just intent on figuring it out as best as we can. 

Occupying a three year old from dawn 'til long after dark is really hard. 

Attempting to manage a kitchen when you suck at all things kitchen related is harder. 

Sometimes you forget what it's like to be good at anything. 

Self-doubt is one of the only true evils. 

Moms are sexy. 

At no other point in your life will you so desperately want to talk to friends and simultaneously not want to talk to anyone, ever. 

Women are tough. Men...I dunno what we are. 

I don't like how bad a rap men take in this enterprise. 

If you gave me silence or a Rose Bowl right now I'd take silence. 

You don't wonder why you're doing it, but you do wonder how you're gonna do it. 

It feels like sh!t to not give a sh!t about how you look. 

Love kinda fixes everything.


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