And so it begins...

Day 1 of the Inaugural Facebook Elimination Death match Tournament is underway, and after further contemplation, this might be the dumbest thing I've ever done...pretty fun though.  After the Opening Round/Play-In Round I've got my Brother-In-Law beating his own mother...cousins winning and losing...good friends from as far away as Oklahoma losing close ones to people they've never even heard of, and my good friend Tracey B getting upset by my buddy Max, simply because Max tried to get me into a fight one drunken night.   This is ridiculous.

It's all fun and games and, of course, the people who have been eliminated will be added again as soon as the Tourney's over.  It's a fun way to cull my Facebook friends down to the ones who really do give a crap about us, and who know what fun and stupidity looks like when they look you in the eye.  There are likely people I will have offended by eliminating, but...shrug...it's all in the name of ridiculousness so...carry on.

Here's how day 1 played out, and of course, you can follow right along with the bracket by going to this site...

2012 Facebook Elimination Death Match Tournament

Here are today's results...

Deathmatch 1 - Tricia Crowe vs. Kate Schofield-Ferichs

Tricia’s is my second cousin, which seems like an obvious downgrade in terms of Facebook relevance, but she’s always been oh-so nice and oh-so cool, and Kate, well, Kate and her husband take just about the best family photos on earth. They live in Telluride, CO and are kinda awesome.  I once threw up on the lawn outside of Kate’s rented cottage on Martha’s Vineyard, which was fairly traumatic but she still talks to me so…

Winner – Kate Schofield-Ferichs

Deathmatch 2 - Ian Partridge vs Mihoko Partridge

It just doesn’t seem fair that a mother and son have to duke it out here but who ever said anything about fair?  Mihoko’s one cool and kind Mother-In-Law but Ian counts as quite possibly one of my best friends.  I’ve watched him drive 6 hours to a Dave Matthews show while dry heaving the entire way only to get drunk again upon arrival.  That deserves some recognition.

Winner – Ian Partridge

Deathmatch 3 - Shalynn Szmeremeck vs. Tracey Taylor

I just added Shalynn a few weeks ago at her request.  She’s the daughter of my Uncle Dwayne’s girlfriend, and she’s a cool girl.  I like her.  On the flip side I’ve worked with Tracey Taylor for the better part of 6 or 7 years, and it’s been an easy 6 or 7 years.  She’s seen me melt down, get angry, act stupid, and knows my frustrated, panic faces better than almost anyone.  All that, and she always likes my sneakers.  Random fact, I know, but important.

Winner – Tracey Taylor

Deathmatch 4 - Kim Bewsky vs. Brooke Sterling

I’ve known Brooke since high school but I’ve only just added her, and haven’t exchanged even a “like” with her…Kim pees her pants when she sees me, and we talk endlessly in mall hallways or city sidewalks.

Winner – Kim Bewsky

Deathmatch 5 - Charles Lloyd vs. Mark Nossiter

I know Charles from high school…Mark is my Brother-In-Law.

Winner – Mark Nossiter

Deathmatch 6 - Jamie Begley vs. Paula Turner Verbeem

I met Paula in high school and still cross her path every now and again…She’s as nice now as she was then.  Jamie is my wife’s cousin and the second biggest smart-ass I know.  He drinks a lot of beer, and that bodes well for future run-ins.

Winner – Jamie Begley

Deathmatch 7 - Duane Punnewaert vs. Jackie Jeffs

Duane is a high school buddy, and a St. Louis Cardinals fan but I’ve known Jackie since I was about 8 years old.  That’s got to count for something.

Winner – Jackie Jeffs

Deathmatch 8 - Pete Johnston vs. Lee Bernier

Pete…good, good guy.  Lee…good, good guy, but I’ve known Pete longer.

Winner – Pete Johnston

Deathmatch 9 - Tammy Willshire-Weber vs. Kevin Thornton

Tammy is ridiculously nice but  Kevin lent us his apartment to crash in when we saw Dave Matthews at Maple Leaf Gardens way back when…Poor Tammy.  Always liking status updates, and making comments.  This one was a bit of an upset, but lending someone their apartment when they know you're coming back to it drunk, and maybe even nauseous...big points.

Winner – Kevin Thornton

Deathmatch 10 - Tylene Neary vs. Amy O’Keefe

I worked with Amy, and have known her since high school.  Tylene might win the coolest/nicest person on the planet award, though.

Winner – Tylene

Deathmatch 11 - Max Cryderman vs. Tracey Bolzon

Tracey is one of my favorite people on the planet, and she’s got good stories, an adventurous spirit, and her husband is awesome…She also hooked me up with the best seats for a Springsteen concert ever, but Max tries to get me in drunken fights at the end of the night, and things always end up in shenanigans when he’s around.  That, and he randomly stops at my house for beers. May have been a bit of an upset...in Vegas a push, at least.

Winner - Max

Deathmatch 12 - Maggie McCoy vs. Jim Bunda

Are you serious? Jimmy, you gotta get up way earlier to unseat the Mags.  Jimmy'll dust himself off.

Winner – Maggie

Deathmatch 13 - Christina Sutherland vs. Kerry Bishop

Christina is oh-so kind, but I have more history with Kerry…of course, I never see Kerry.  But wait…Kerry and her husband once let me live on their couch.

Winner – Kerry

Deathmatch 14 - Anna Shetty vs. Dana Brushette

Just met Anna but she seems so very nice, and I think we’ll be friends for awhile.  Dana is the raddest girl I know.  This was a tough one for Anna to win.  

Winner – Dana

Deathmatch 15 - Emily Wallace vs. Jacob Vandenberghe

Jacob is a cool guy but Emily is cooler.  She just is.  What d’ya do?  Cooler trumps cool every time.

Winner – Emily

Deathmatch 16 - Mike Cooper vs. Adam Lebrasceur

Adam’s nice, but in a haze of sweat and cheap beer I once saw Jeff Healey from the fourth row with Mike.

Winner – Mike

Deathmatch 17 - Sonya Fink vs. JB Forsythe

JB Forsythe is my Aunt…and a pretty awesome Aunt at that, but Sonya is something kinda awesome, and has been since I met her in 1985.

Winner – Sonya

Deathmatch 18 - Mia Harrison vs. Tom VanDeVelde

I love Mia. It’s a ridiculous kind of relationship, equal parts fun and abusive...but every time I see Tom I am overwhelmed by the urge to talk to him in Jimmy Fallon’s Boston Teen voice.  Tommy, tell me you got that!

Winner - Tommy

Day 2 officially begins tomorrow morning...September 1st.  Kind of a good reason not hate September.  With any luck, I'll have only offended a marginal number of people, and this whole farce will entertain more than just me.  I'm a cheap laugh, it seems.