%#&$!

It will be seven weeks this Wednesday since my knee surgery.  I was doing good...limping, icing, still sometimes some swelling and stiffness...nowhere near 100%, but good. Then yesterday reminded me that I'm not working hard enough, that my body will do it's own business when it wants to, and that this is going to take a long, long time.  Today I'm barely walking, so I'll rest, and ice, and try to avoid getting angry or upset about it. It's been a frustrating process.

Humility comes easy when you're obviously not as good as others.  It's a simple task, this quiet deference to the walking world, and the ripples extend out affecting so much of everything else.  I've been finding it awfully hard to be my usual self in the middle of working and waiting for change.  I'm hesitant...I'm only rarely enthusiastic...I'm often very negative...I'm jealous...I make a lot of ridiculous promises to myself.  I don't imagine that I'll want to do this again anytime soon.  It's been excruciatingly trying.

Camp Zed is about to begin...I am set to go on a two day sneak-away road trip with a friend...it's so hot out that the notion of crutches makes me wince, and still...crutches.

%#&$!