A Return to Ourselves, and to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

I spoke for four hours yesterday about the absolutely boundless power of compassion and understanding. I was so nervous that I didn't eat breakfast, and that I skipped lunch as well. I barely managed my coffee and water. I spoke for four hours about what it's like to sit in the alley with the child that has no home, about what it's like to sit next to the addict who has no hope, and what it's like to walk with someone who's running away from everything. I spoke for four hours about how easily we forget that we belong to one another. I spoke for four hours about the strangest of things, that you have to remind yourself that people aren't meant to be thrown away, nor are we individually entitled to do so. For four hours I reminded people that there is no them, but rather, there has only ever been us. I was nervous for no reason. I spoke both quietly and forcefully for four hours and then could have used more time. I didn't intend to make people cry, but they did. I didn't expect such attention and connection, but there was. I felt proud and strong and valued when it was done. I felt as though I'd somehow just found a tribe. It just struck me as strange that i had to talk for four hours to find them. I suppose life doesn't give you an audience very often.

I feel now that there are people who know me, and that might better understand what I'm doing...that it's nothing special, it's just an awareness of where I fit, and what I should hope the world looks like if I have any say. It was a good day and thought it was going to be a difficult one.

By midnight I had an email from a former teacher that I think I'll keep. He was proud of me, and despite being nearly blind now, he recognized my voice the minute I spoke. He thought to himself, I know that kid. That's Brian, and he settled in for the tour of my head and heart, and was not disappointed he urged. Again, I felt proud and strong and valued.

I spoke for four hours yesterday about things that I believe in, and I was able to remind others of what they'd only just forgotten, I imagine...that they believe in those things too. In the end, we all do. There is no them, there is only us, and why was I nervous about revealing that?

Now....back to your regularly scheduled programming.