The Zoey Blog: Ahem, Excuse Me Ladies... FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Monday, September 5, 2011

Ahem, Excuse Me Ladies...

Tomorrow is the first day of school, and returned is the conundrum of what to wear, you know, that I find comfortable...that whispers professional, but also sticks it's nose up at the same notion...that is weather and season appropriate...that looks good...

I need some help. I need links...links to looks...links to looks that I could pull off. C'mon, this is fun. You've read the blog forever...some of you know me very well...some of you are dying to dress a man. Here's your chance.

It's always a difficult thing, and when I get it wrong I'm miserable all day. On most occasions I feel a little (or a lot) like I'm living in the wrong place to wear the kinds of things I most want to, that I most feel comfortable with...and I've only just recently made the promise to myself to begin staying true to the clothing that best suits me and who I am or who I want to be...We even went as far as to slap together a little "look book" of what I would wear if I was given an empty Visa and a week in my favorite place to spend my loot, California...Orange County to be specific. All that sunshine and sand and blue sky and kinda sets a smell into the clothing, whispers a sigh onto the fabrics, that I could pack up in ten hefty suitcases and haul home. Have a look...

The Semi-Professional Man-Boy Look - I could pull this off at work easy. It wouldn't surprise anyone, and aside from the kickers, I've already got the exact combo of awesomeness hanging in my closet, and sitting on my shelves.
Fall Look Book 1

The Oh-So Casual and I Wish I Wear What He's Wearing Look - Again, aside from those kicks, I've got this collection of comfort and cool already in my humble arsenal of "trust me" clothes. Teachers hate me when I walk into their school flying these flags of freedom ( watch ever. I'd grab it in a fire).
Fall Look Book 2

The San Clemente September Special - Yeah, I can't wear this to work except for maybe the odd sneak in when I'm feeling super frisky. Oddly, I own this stuff, in great part, already. That thing ever, maybe second only to the Rainbow slippers.
Fall Look Book 3

The Weekender that was - Nope. This combo I affectionately call "the heavyweight champion of the closet" gets strip searched and fingerprinted if worn to work. Sigh.
Fall Look Book 4

The Are You Sure You're My Counselor and Not a Stussy Rep From Outer Sunset Look - This is 100% work and if you say it isn't then we can't be friends. I don't do golf shirts. I couldn't possibly fathom tucking in any more than 5% of my years worth of shirts into my pants, and old, brown leather is good for your soul. This could be the first day of school right here, and then every other day would be downhill.
Fall Look Book 5

The It's a Friday and You Can't Make Me Wear a Shirt With Buttons and/or a Collar Look - Just try to stop me from wearing this lovely little mansemble on any given Friday from October 1st thru November. I'd punch you in the face and hold you down 'til you said "I give"...bully tactic, I know, but the clothes are oh-so anti-bully, aren't they?
Fall Look Book 6

So, as you can see...not exactly your speaking to a room full of superintendents kind of closet but it's what I'm generally drawn to. Suggestions...input...?

June might fight you on anything other than the above, but she's got a really short reach and is pretty non-confrontational generally. C'mon ladies walking down the streets of the working world...Netta, Aim, Betz, Mel, Ally, Beth, etc... your two cents is being shamelessly solicited here. Dress a dude or forever give up the dream.


Blogger Beth said...

Okay, I can't really tell but I think those top pants are cords. I like cords...they say "comfy weekend at the cottage"/ "trustworthy professor type". Get a dark pair! Plus with the right shoe they can either be casual or dressy. Get a leather sports jacket/ blazer...that'll dress up any outfit and make it "more professional" for the board office if necessary. Ohhhhh fun project!! I'm going to be thinking more about this!

September 6, 2011 at 8:25 PM  
Blogger M. said...

Judging by the photos, you don't need our help. But for my two cents, when I saw the first picture I assumed that you had just taken pictures of stuff you already owned, so I guess that means that it suits you. Also, I love jackets. Elbow patches are a must, so long as you the kind of bloke who can pull them off without looking like a dildo, which I believe you are. Also, while I like chucks for some days, I also very much enjoy a pair of buttery-soft italian leather loafers in the butterscotch to caramel palette range. How we doin' so far?

September 8, 2011 at 2:33 PM  
Blogger Brian DeWagner said...

M...Jacket with elbow patches...nice, got one that I can ressurrect, and I like it...a little scruffy 'round the edges but that works for me, and certainly sends a message to the Superintendent Good one Mel. Gonna dig that bugger out. I like the caramel loafers notion too...can dig those out as well. See, I can do fine with the casual, it's the more straightened up look that stays loose that I get killed on.

Beth...those wearing cords will inherit the earth I've heard. Done.

September 8, 2011 at 8:08 PM  

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