The Zoey Blog: I'm Bleeding An Impossible Fountain of Shock and Awe FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Monday, July 18, 2011

I'm Bleeding An Impossible Fountain of Shock and Awe

I just saw a $50 tank top. I swear the world is falling apart at the seams. Then I saw this nonsense and nearly felt my heart stop beating in my chest. Hypothetically, if you were to spend $40 US dollars on this I’d punch you in the face. Hypothetically. Have we all gone insane? I mean, I get $200 for a pair of sneakers. I can get down with that, I mean, they’re sneakers, they required some serious R&D to hit the market and find themselves on the feet of professional athletes etc…and I understand the concept of ridiculously overpriced real estate. It’s real estate. Even Scarlett O’Hara knew the value of land. What I can’t comprehend is the audacity of commerce at every imaginable level. Forty dollars for a painting of the twin towers, Jesus and a rainbow. Am I on drugs right now. I don’t remember taking drugs.

First my side hurt from laughing, and then I went and got offended, and then I started typing. Oh, silly world. Your paralyzingly funny. Next you're gonna tell me that Bob Dylan is still touring even though he sounds like the pitiful muffled sound of your neighbor puking through a half clogged stoma and into his own bushes at three o'clock in the morning. What do you think I am, stupid?


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