The Unbearable Weight of Change

"It's never the changes we want that change everything."
- The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz

We are suddenly and probably not so strangely in the middle of some pretty weighty stuff...a move, the potential loss of work, a certain loss of control, and the biggest purchase of our lives all happening at precisely the same time. It's no joke. Our world feels as though it's collapsing, and I, at the very least, feel incredibly fragile and emotionally unprepared. As I type I'm laying down to stop the world from spinning. I felt sick, and not so very good. We're pushing on because that's what we're supposed to do, but until some things are resolved, I'm not doing so well despite my best efforts. I occasionally feel optimistic and can smell the promise and possibility in the air, and at other times all I smell is smoke.

If one thing falls into place I'll feel embarrassed at falling apart so easily. If it doesn't, well, let's talk about that later.

If I don't seem like myself for a few days it's because I'm not feeling very much like myself. Hang tight. I'll be back...eventually.