This is Harmon Bergquist...baseball player

Our friends, Kevin and Aimee, have a baseball player on their hands, well, probably two considering the fact that his little brother, Simon, will be on quick on the heals of big brother, Harmon, but for now they have at least one super-official baseball player on their hands.

Meet Harmon Bergquist the baseball player. Never the last out. Always moves the runner over. Will go his entire career without ever missing a sign. Lays off the high and away pitches. Is more patient than his uber-patient mother. Breaks up double plays. Takes astonishingly intuitive angles to fly balls. Always calls MINE on pop ups within his reach. He never argues a strike call...never. He always pats his pitcher on the arse after an inning...always. Spits only when he must, and never, ever wears a gold chain with a cross or his number dangling from it. He's an expert bunter, looks the ball into his mitt every time, and always, always hits his cut-off man.

This is Harmon Bergquist, the baseball player. He keeps both hands on the bat all the way through his swing. He never pulls his hips or drops his elbow. He listens to his coaches, and ignores all the trash talk. He laughs with opposing catchers, and fouls off all those pitches that aren't quite his exact flavor. He's a good high school teammate, a good college teammate, and a Top Ten MLB pick. He brings his parents to the Draft. He coaxes them up on stage as he pulls the white jersey with the old English D on it over his shoulders, and tugs the hat his mother always wore down tight. He signs his first contract with his Dad standing over his shoulder, and he donates his first pay-cheque to his old Little League. He loses Rookie of the Year, but he wins the American League Championship, and he hits .312 and has 97 RBIs in his first year as a Tiger. He stays late to sign autographs, and meets his parents for dinner after Sunday home games, it's a tradition. People buy his baseball cards, and wear his jersey...#2...the same number that he wore when he was five.

This is Harmon Bergquist, the baseball player. Remember his name.