From The Mixed-Up Files of Me

"I think you should learn, of course, and some days you must learn a great deal. But you should also have days when you allow what is already in you to swell up inside of you until it touches everything."
- E.L. Konigsburg, From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs Basil E. Frankweiler

I love that quote...love it. It's the best thing I've ever found to describe my day. It takes a lot of work to show up, to be present, and to not get in the way. There's a lot of effort involved in allowing the best parts of ourselves to rise to the surface, to allow the truth of who we are to shine through all of the layers that we've made to protect ourselves and project ourselves. It's not easy trusting that which is already inside of you to pull us through, and perhaps, if we're very lucky, to pull someone else through. That's very difficult stuff.

Today I got a call to confirm my interview for the job I already do, and it eased my mind. This Friday at 2:45 pm I will sit in front of people that I already know and remind them of things that they already know, and hope that what I say moves them. Maybe that's not what they're expecting? Maybe this interview is only half as 'real' as I'm anticipating it to be, or maybe it sits between me and everything I've wanted for a long, long time, I dunno. What I do know is that I'm going to fill the air with everything that is already inside me, all of those things that can inspire someone to go home and just talk to their Dad, or make someone never want to use again, or leave them frightened to disappoint me...I'm going to fill the air with the kind of emotion that filled a young man's eyes with tears today, worried that I might not be back to pull him along. I'm going to do that, and then I'm going to watch it touch everything.

Then I'm going to hold my breath...