The Zoey Blog: Relax: Apocalypse probably not happening FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Relax: Apocalypse probably not happening

That was a headline I read today. It's probably good advice, that whole relax part, regardless of whether there's an Apocalypse coming or not. It's comforting to know that there's no impending Apocalypse though. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. I suppose that there's the whole matter of that "probably" part but the whole damn thing sounds so dismissive that I'm not gonna sweat it too much. Apocalypse schmapocalypse...I'd lay a bet down with the best Vegas book that it's nothin' to worry about. Why? 'Cause I read it in the paper...that, and there's not a damn thing that you can do about it either way.

I've got to start feeling that way about more things...especially as those things relate to my daughter.

Sigh all you that cute little head tilt and simultaneous squeal, "awwwww," but I love my daughter and it bothers me a great deal when she's upset or in discomfort etc...the problem is, often enough, there's very little that I can do about half the things that affect her. This fever, aside from being diligent, cautious, and attentive, there's very little I can do beside wait for it to subside. I don't manage that very well.

What's the secret to poise? Can I buy a book? Meditate? Chant something? I have remarkably low levels of cool when it comes to the health of my wife and daughter.

Here's something for you, and it's excluding my immediate birth family...these girls are the best thing I've got...the best...I'm much less of a person without them, and although the odds are against the possibility that I'll ever lose one of them randomly, I'm also experienced enough and smart enough to know that the smallest things can change your life...the absolutely most mundane things can forever alter the way that we filter the years left on our calendars.

When I was ten years old I went to pay a friend for watching our dog while we were away and I nearly died.

When I was in college a classmate and some friends were walking home one night when a drunk driver swerved off the road, onto the sidewalk and killed her boyfriend. Not another soul in the group was injured, but her boyfriend was gone before anyone could even make a gesture in his direction.

A recent re-connection with an old, old friend helped me to learn that the reason that he and his family moved away in elementary school was that his mother died over the summer. No one knew that. I didn't have any clue. In June we were close friends, and in September he was no longer around.

Things happen fast, and the truth is that there's not much that we can do about them, and as much as I wish I didn't feel the fragility of my life as strongly as I do, I'm also happy that I've got a life that reminds me to be thankful of what I've got. I'm reminded every day how quickly the things that you have can change. I know that most of my living days won't be marked with such drama, but moments before life changing moments occurred they were just ordinary moments.

So the Apocalypse probably won't be happening, and Zoey will probably ride this fever out and come out smiling on the other side of it all, but I can't help but worry that tomorrow won't look the same as today, and as much as I like to reassure myself that such a thing is very much a positive, it's always in the back of my head that it might not be. Sometimes you're pretty desperate for the "probably" part.


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