Two Years Under the Reign of the Omniscient Zed

This is what I've learned in almost two years...

It's easier to stop swearing than you think.

Your little funster will learn more because of who you are than what you say.

If you don't foster magic and wonderment in your child you are a jerk.

My daughter has taught me that I'm not always quite as good a person as I like to think I am but, at the same time, I'm nowhere near as bad a person as I sometimes think I am.

Diapers are better than litter boxes.

Dancing in the kitchen is something you don't do nearly enough before kids.

Farts are funny pretty much from day 1, and to anyone capable of squeezing them out.

Your child is the ultimate blank canvas but it's surprising and shocking how much of you they inherit just through genetics.

There can never be enough books.

You don't want every experience to be easy, you just better understand what's going to be unnecessarily hard and not worth it.

You don't need to force much with a smart, loved, and confident child.

You define your dignity differently.

The most fun I've had with Zoey has cost no money, only time.

There's no shame in just calling a time out, or in hoping for a rain out sometimes. Everyone needs a break.

I've learned that the word suckabubba can be used for anything in any situation.

Talking is way more than just talking, it's learning, for both of us.

Going out for dinner means paying someone so that you won't enjoy your meal.

When Zoey asks me a question, what she really wants to know can sometimes be something very different than what she is asking.

I learned to listen to my guts, they know what they're talking about.

I learned how important it is to be myself.

Tights are really hard to put on a wiggly squiggling little girl.

Kids are gonna pee on the floor once in awhile, and it should be funny.

No one dies if you leave the Christmas tree up until February.

A stressed cat is a pretty pathetic cat.