The Zoey Blog: Lying prone on a couch of enlightenment FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Lying prone on a couch of enlightenment

It was the sound of two balloons rubbing together as they floated above the vent, that and some water splashed on my face, that woke me up to the living again today. I've been sick, and I've been self-indulgent in that, and although I still feel awful, two balloons rubbing together has reminded me that if I only take time to listen I'll hear things I had never heard before. The balloons are from Zoey's birthday, five days ago. They've surely been tangling and bumping and rubbing for days now but I've only just heard them.

I'm not very good sick, no one is, I suppose, but I'm particularly bad. I languish in it. I fall apart without much of a fight, believing without hesitation, that there isn't much I can do about it all save feel bad, so why not feel bad. It's completely eluded me that I could try to feel better. It never struck me that part of getting healthy is wanting to get healthy. Willing to be sick is one thing, but wanting to be better is another. The sound of two rubbing balloons woke me up to the notion that there just might be a lot of stuff that I'm not approaching in the right way.

Two rubbing balloons in a quiet house...a perspective changer. Hmm, and just when I was aching and weak and not believing in anything it strikes me...maybe there is something to believe in?

I need to start paying better attention.


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