The Zoey Blog: It's a cold, cold winter when you're not winning FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Sunday, January 2, 2011

It's a cold, cold winter when you're not winning

"Is it possible that the winter of our discontent can last forever? Well, sure, it's theoretically possible. But it would also take a major climatic shift for that to happen, because Michigan's place in the college football solar system is backed by a huge national audience, a ridiculously wealthy alumni base, the biggest stadium in the country, and an axis set by Yost when the universe was still young. Plus our helmets have wings."
- Brian @

Sure it's an old photo but we're desperately searching for an old feeling. Oh how desperate I am for Michigan Football to get back to feeling like Michigan Football, which means winning. We haven't done much of that since Zoey's graced the face of this good earth. I'd blame her but she doesn't deserve it, and she didn't really arrive until a full year after our suckage began. I'm going to blame the Taliban, I think. Them, and this ancient curse that I just made up on the spot to serve my pathetic needs.

This curse is all Colin's fault. Yep, my friend Colin is responsible for this. I can give you his address and phone number if you want.

I regretfully wrote a little something that compared him to the Philadelphia Philles pre-2008 World Series. Colin swore his fanhood to the Gods of Philly, and they go out and win a World Series. Then Colin moves West to attend the University of Oregon where the Ducks suddenly decide to get amazing. They're playing for a National Championship this week. They'll win it. In case you weren't paying attention the Phillies played in a second World Series in 2009, and then snatched up Roy Halladay this year and stole Cliff Lee too. Don't you see, Colin is the key to all of this. I don't know how to bust up whatever hoodoo curse he's working on us, but I've got to figure it out. Whatever luck I had falling out of my hoop he's somehow picked it up, dusted it off and jammed it straight up his own @$&. Somehow we need to get it back.

I might have to fly to Vancouver and burn a pair of his underwear on an altar made of duck feathers & Philly cheese steak. Whatever it takes. I just want Michigan football to find the warmth of Spring again. You know, the one that as summer passed and Autumn approached left you hoping you'd spend the holidays in Pasadena. I'll do whatever it takes to get that feeling back. I'll even offer my friend Colin up in a trade. He's a genuinely good guy...nice baby...some serious earning If that's what it takes, I'll do it.


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