Friday, October 1, 2010

A Question...


When you first discovered that you were going to be a parent, did you want a boy or a girl? Be honest. That diplomatic pablum, "I just hope it's healthy," doesn't fly...state a preference.

I wanted a girl. I don't know why. I guess I didn't know exactly what to do with a son, how I'd manage it, just how good I'd be at I wanted a girl. I guess I wanted something I'd have less of a chance of screwing up. See, I know that I can do right by her...I know it, but a son...I don't know...I wasn't sure I could be everything that I thought he needed...and I wasn't sure that I could handle the moment I disappointed him. With a girl it felt as though I might never be capable of disappointing, but a boy, well, a boy has a lower tolerance for his Father's shortcomings. The thought of it broke my heart, let alone the potential reality of it.

I wanted a girl, and I'd need three therapists to explain why a boy scared me silly.

And you? What did you want?


Anonymous Tellie said...

I didn't think I had a preference until I realized that when I opened a baby name book I flipped to the girl's names first and when shopping for clothes I looked at the cute dresses and frilly things and sighed. Yes, I wanted a girl even if I didn't admit it, right up until the moment the sonographer told me it was a boy. Our little peanut was a boy and by the time I found out I was already in love with him because of who he was. Learning his gender felt like learning about his eye colour or how big he'd be. Just details about a person that I loved no matter what the details were.

October 1, 2010 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Girl. I don't really know why. But I know that when I see families who have only boys, I always feel bad for the mom. Jeff wanted a boy, for the typical "carry on the name" reasons. But I will always remember watching him singing her to sleep on one of the first nights we brought her home, and he said to me "I'm so glad we had a girl." He really meant it.

October 1, 2010 at 10:27 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Both Mike and I wanted a girl and I was secretly scared that we would learn we were having a boy and I would feel disappointed. All I could picture was a purple bedroom and girl clothes. I had a name picked out months ahead of time and just knew that was the name...none of the other names would even fit. It's like I knew she was a girl from the start.

Mike wanted a girl for the same reasons as you. He said he sees the relationship I have with my dad and he wants that too. He wants a little girl who looks at him with love and knows her dad can solve all her problems. I think sometime boys are too hard on their dads...but maybe girls are the same why with their moms? Hard to say.

October 2, 2010 at 5:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've wanted a boy from the beginning. Jeff has two daughters already and I don't think I could handle the drama of another girl. They can be so mean to each other...even at a young age. There seems to be so much competition between them. Not the sisters but with their peers at school.
A psychic once told me that I would have a son that would be a reincarnation of an old soul....whether it be my Grandpa Palocz or my brother Michael that died of leukemia at age 10.....I am so curious to see if that is true.
I know I will love a girl just the same but my heart is hoping it's a boy and so is Jeff's. We'll find out in approx. 5 weeks :))))

October 2, 2010 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

We always knew Julia would be a girl. Like from minute one. We know the moment I got pregnant and never once though that she would be anything but a girl, and as you have seen, she's the girliest of girls.

In the case of Alex, Paul wanted a boy. I thought boy thoughts, and similar to Jules being a girl, I knew he was going to be a boy. Knowing that, though, did not preclude me thinking "What on earth do I do with a boy?" Now I can't imagine him being anything else.

October 2, 2010 at 5:18 PM  
Blogger Brian DeWagner said...

M.A...I have the strongest feeling (and I don't know why I would feel it so strongly) that you've got a boy on your hands.

October 2, 2010 at 7:50 PM  
Blogger John Teeter said...

Completely and honestly – I wanted a kid.
As long as we got that I was happy.

(two miscarriages leading up to the third time is the charm pregnancy cemented that)

October 2, 2010 at 11:26 PM  

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