When you first discovered that you were going to be a parent, did you want a boy or a girl? Be honest. That diplomatic pablum, "I just hope it's healthy," doesn't fly...state a preference.
I wanted a girl. I don't know why. I guess I didn't know exactly what to do with a son, how I'd manage it, just how good I'd be at it...so I wanted a girl. I guess I wanted something I'd have less of a chance of screwing up. See, I know that I can do right by her...I know it, but a son...I don't know...I wasn't sure I could be everything that I thought he needed...and I wasn't sure that I could handle the moment I disappointed him. With a girl it felt as though I might never be capable of disappointing, but a boy, well, a boy has a lower tolerance for his Father's shortcomings. The thought of it broke my heart, let alone the potential reality of it.
I wanted a girl, and I'd need three therapists to explain why a boy scared me silly.
And you? What did you want?