Daddy needs some Vans Authentics...

It's Monday and that means dressing like a grown up again. Zoey doesn't have that problem, in fact, she has next to zero issues with the entire dressing phenomenon. June has similar problems...Monday means five straight days of dressing like a grown up. Such a harsh transition from faded old baggy, ripped jeans and a football jersey on Sunday to I mean serious business, can't you tell by the way that I'm dressed Monday. I hate it.

Five out of my seven days are tough too considering the notion that I need to look presentable and somewhat professional to the teachers, administrators, assorted stiffs etc...that I stumble across each day...but I also need to not scare kids and na'er do wells away with just one look at my pants-shoes combo. Sounds silly but it's not. My choice of shoes can make a super judgmental kid (aren't they all) or Vice-Principal (ditto) decide in an instant whether or not they're going to take me seriously. My day can depend on tucking or not tucking.

The solution? Vans authentics...simple, understated, undeniably cool, fine with jeans, great with khakis...shorts=no problem, brand new is fine, well worn is better...Vans Authentics...In a pinch Chucks will do but they're a notch below on what is naturally a pretty illogical appropriateness scale.

I need a new pair, and so this morning I am in a bit of a bind. Am I the only one who has this problem. I know that I straddle two different worlds, and that my job is fairly tenuous, at least my role and relationship with these people is, but I can't be the only guy who, aside from personal preference, has major issues with what he throws on his back each morning. In my job it matters.

With the kids, a t-shirt and jeans would be fine and I'd be happy with that, but I'd be a joke to their teachers. The professionals whose paths I cross feel most comfortable with the conformity of golf shirts and button downs...tucked I might add...that's where the conundrum rests. So I wear khakis...with Vans, or I wear the button down...with rolled up jeans and well worn desert boots...I leave things untucked. I roll up sleeves, and I flash the forearm tattoo at meetings...it matters. It totally matters, and you're as high the kids I deal with if you don't think so.

So, this morning I have issues...no Vans. I might have to call in sick. Could someone please make their way to my house each morning this week and just as Zoey enjoys, dress me with consultation or input. I promise to just go with the flow, to bow down to the awesome power of your personal taste and attention to detail. I won't make a fuss, and there's no diaper involved, not usually, at least.

Who;d have ever thought that no Vans could be such an issue. Well, it was when you were thirteen so, naturally, why wouldn't it be now?

Please help....

Signed...

Man-boy