Saturday, September 11, 2010

Michigan-Notre Dame LIVE BLOG

WARNING: If you don't care about college football then you might want to skip this post altogether, also, ask yourself why we are friends?

Michigan Notre Dame

I've always wanted to do this...and with Zed sleeping to kick this thing off, it looks like I might have a decent shot at live blogging my favorite tilt of the Fall. It's Michigan-Notre Dame today and the house is quiet, the phone is close at hand for random trash talk calls, and I got lots of rest last night knowing full well that this afternoon could make or break my weekend. We considered driving down to South Bend but Zed's fever from the last few days put an end to that wishful thinking. Now we're hunkered down here on the lake, ready for whatever the great Gods of gridiron give us. I'll be live blogging the whole thing so hang tight and hope for the best, in both the game and on this computer screen...this could get terribly lame, terribly fast.

Go Blue!

1:00 pm...I just read this and nearly died. It's not safe for work, and I'd recommend not opening this link if you're easily offended, or if you ever want to look at me with any respect in your eyes ever again...but it's funnier than Jesse Palmer's career.

3:00 pm...I'm terribly tired of hearing the entire country talk about how Denard Robinson can't possibly carry the ball 29 times again, and how UConn's defense was poorly prepared for Michigan's offense, and blah blah is different, and both Michigan and Notre Dame know what they're doing, and they're ready to adapt what they're doing and all the conjecture in the world doesn't win or lose a football game...I'd also like to add that I don't know whether to boil or fry or grill the hotdogs today. Who cares about Denard, the future of of gastrointestinal discomfort is in question.

3:07 pm...I hear rustling from Zoey's room. If the Zed wakes up before this game begins then it's official, God hates me.

3:11 pm...I should have napped. I'm grumpy, and if Michigan loses today I'm going to be a Sasquatch.

3:12 pm...I hope someone from Miami breaks Terrelle Pryor's leg this afternoon.

3:13 pm...I'd like to punch Kirk Herbstreit in the face. How does Desmond Howard sit next to that turd?

3:20 pm...It hurts to hear national television talk about Michigan-Notre Dame as being inconsequential.

3:33 pm...Tom Hammond is scary! His hair is like Ronald McDonald's except gray! Yikes...

3:40 pm...Those 9/11 stars and stripes hats are awful, and so was that odd embrace between Tate Forcier and Rich Rod?

3:44 pm...Mouton with a tackle for a loss. Nice penetration...sorry, I just wanted to type penetration.

3:48 pm...Illegal block in the back and the ND touchdown comes back..I'd thank God but he's on their side.

3:51 pm...Reviewing ND touchdown while I eat pistachios. If ND has two touchdowns called back on their first drive I'm going to take that as a sign.

3:54 pm...Nope. Whose side is God on? Our side, that's whose.

3:54 pm...ND touchdown...their third one in five minutes but it's only 7 - 0 Notre Dame. I'm not very good at math but that sounds about perfect.

3:55pm...Zoey is awake! This isn't good.

4:00 pm...My brother wore #86 too but he could catch...4th and 5...Michigan kicks. I have a feeling that this post is going to be stupid long unless I reign it in a little.

4:02 pm...Commercial break and I just noticed that Roadhouse II: Last Call is on tonight...classic.

4:04 pm...Mouton with a Michigan interception! Freshman Rees throws the pick.

4:05 pm...Touchdown Michigan on the first play after the interception!! Take that God! 7-7

4:06 pm...June's trying to teach Zoey Hail to the's not working out so well.

4:11 pm...Notre Dame punt...that Rees kid isn't so hot. How's relying on a freshman QB feel Notre Dame? Not good does it?

4:13 pm...Zoey and Mom are coloring during the commerical break. Michigan ball with good field position. I think Zoey just pooped her pants. It's only a matter of time before I do that same.

4:15 pm...Michigan needs to punt 'cause 3rd and 5 sucks...could we stop with that? The offense is looking like a cat in a burlap bag. Something's gotta happen...good or bad.

4:18 pm...Nate Montana takes the snap for ND...that's Joe Montana's kid, and he was a walk-on!? So either Joe Montana has bad genes or he was a crappy father. Your Dad is the best NFL QB ever and you're a walk-on? Hmmm.

4:21...Michigan fumble, Michigan recovery...whew...and there's that poop I was talking about earlier.

4:22 pm...Odoms with a 31 yard pass reception from Robinson.

4:23 pm...Touchdown Michigan!!! Hopkins punches it in from the 2. 14-7 Michigan. Jesus Crist! That was freshman Stephen Hopkins first carry ever!

4:26 pm...Okay, this live blogging thing is a pain in the arse. I gotta scale it back a little here. It's not really all that fun. From now on only occasional updates...that's the way God wants it.

4:29 pm...End of the first quarter. Zoey is trying to steal my beer but I blocked her with an elbow bar.

4:38 pm...Robinson scrambles for 37 yards on Michigan's first possession of the 2nd qtr. Who said that Denard wasn't going to be able to run today?

4:39 pm...3rd down and suckage...that might be our game plan.

4:47 pm...Some back and forth boredom and nothing much worth blogging about. This one might stay a schoolyard fight and nothing more.

4:50 pm...Devon Gardner in the game with Robinson hurt on the last play. Ouch Tate...ouch!

4:42 pm...Robinson back in after one play on the sideline. You can hear the collective sigh of relief all the way from Ann Arbor.

4:53 pm...Third down....Here you go Notre Dame, you can have it.

4:54 pm...Michigan punt and a commercial break. How long before those buggers at the Freep have a headline about Gardner coming in and not Tate? I give 'em fifteen minutes.

4:57 pm...Michigan interception on Montana...Brian Kelly is mean to Joe's son. Somewhere Joe bristles.

5:01 pm...Third down and crap. Michigan punt, Notre Dame ball. What's with all these horrifying third downs? No one is looking very impressive so far, save Brian Kelly's curse mouth.

5:05 pm...On behalf of both Notre Dame and Michigan I'd like to apologize to all of NBC's national audience.

5:08 pm...Notre Dame punt and downed on the Michigan 2. Tabling the issue again as to whether or not God hates us.

5:09 pm...Hey, a third down that worked!

5:10 pm...DENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD ROBINSON!!!!!!! 87 yard touchdown Michigan!!!! Whoa, that kid's fast!! 21-7 for the good guys. (Second longest run ever vs. Notre Dame)

5:19 pm...Nice last minute for the Irish and Montana. Ball on the MIchigan 3 yard line with 3 seconds left on the clock...field goal or TD attempt? ND time out to think about it. Kelly says go for it! Nice...

5:22 pm...Nate Montana throws it out of bounds in the end zone, time expires, and Brian Kelly passes out. Score at the half...Michigan 21...Notre Dame 7

5:26 pm...Spending halftime babysitting a doll and a hippopotamus with Zedder. Empty bottles filled with imaginary milk. I might not be the best Daddy but I'm pliable.

5:45 pm...Start of the second half and now that the dolls are fed and asleep, Daddy and Zoey can get back to blogging.

Daddy Zoey Michigan Notre Dame

5:47 pm...Third and out for Michigan on the first series of the second half...Three is starting to become my least favorite number.

5:49 pm...Notre Dame touchdown pass...Dayne Crist looked better on a sideline. Michigan 21...Notre Dame 14.

5:50 I the only one freaking out that the Notre Dame receiver dropped the ball in celebratory hubris before he crossed the goal line?? That ball should have been spotted on the one...delaying the inevitable, sure, but watch the game refs.

5:53 pm...Notre Dame looks pretty perky with Crist back in the game. I'm wondering whether or not I should have stayed in Zoey's room playing? Momentum is a b!t@h.

5:55 pm...Third and 10 Robinson keeper? To hell with you third downs! Punt and a Michigan bounce. I have a bad feeling that this is about to get ugly.

5:57 pm...Huge first down run for Notre Dame and the Gods of momentum are firmly entrenched against the Wolverines now. The run is called back a bunch but it's still a dagger in my eye. Now Michael Floyd is running backwards for first downs...yup, we may have officially lost control of this borefest.

6:02 pm...Notre Dame field goal...21-17 for the Wolverines...barely hanging on right now. I just slipped two Aleeves and put some beer in the fridge. This could be the kind of evening that requires a sensitive friend or perhaps a counselor or three.

6:09 pm ...1st and 20 doesn't frighten me as much as third and anything.

6:10 pm...4th and 7...surprise, surprise, and then Michigan misses a field goal attempt. Wheels are wobbling...

6:13 pm...Crist pass intercepted by Michigan~!!

6:15 pm...It'd be awesome if Denard would run North-South and stop this sideways stuff. Nearly throws and interception on 2nd and 18.

6:17 pm...Michigan is 1 for 10 on third downs. Where's the Aleeve? Notre Dame ball...

6:19 pm...I just realized that's it's raining. June says it has been for hours. This live blogging crap gives new meaning to the term engrossed.

6:20 pm...So if Crist had been in this game all along I think all of us Michigan fans would be bloodied by our own hands a long time ago. This is a different football game.

6:21 pm...Michigan sacks Crist for a 12 yard loss! 3rd and 18 for the Irish. My head hurts.

6:23 pm...Michigan with the ball on their own 40 to start a drive...I'm averting my eyes just like Tate Forcier.

6:27 pm...3rd and 3 Michigan....holding my breath.

6:28 pm...Ridiculous play to get the first down. We'll take it but that's not what we want to see too frequently.

6:31 pm..More third down disappointment and a 40 yard field goal attempt that misses. Gibbons is 1 for 4 on the season now, but if we're settling for field goals against rivals I guess this year's wrapped all up already.

6:35 pm...Zoey's bouncing around the living room squealing about how excited she is. I think she's confused. And she just asked to watch The Muppet Show...I'm tempted to oblige her.

6:37 pm...Zoey just screamed "catch it and run," with that last almost-interception by Michigan. Where'd she learn that? I'm glad I don't make it a practice to swear at the television.

6:40 pm Denard Robinson running around, shoelaces flying in the wind. That's a beauty sight.

6:41 pm...Underappreciated story of this game...Michigan penalties.

6:44 pm...Another third down bummer. Six minutes left...Irish possession...four point lead for the Wolverines. Ulcer brewing in my guts. Zoey smiling and twirling around the house...a nice distraction.

6:47 pm...Crist looking dodgy on this drive...fingers crossed.

6:48 pm...Notre Dame time out to avoid a delay of game penalty, and Crist gets some of the same kind of treatment that Montana got. Call me a wuss, but I kinda think that most college football coaches are turds. I'm glad I have a daughter. Swim coaches are nicer I think.

6:51 pm...Just over five minutes left and Michigan with the ball on the ND 48...burn some clock or score I scream with no one listening. IT'S SUDDENLY THIRD DOWN WITH NINE TO GO! That's burning clock?

6:53 PM...No first down...punt and Irish ball with 4:15 left on the clock. Ball on the eight yard line and my heart in my throat. Zoey's strutting around the house in her Michigan jersey and pig tails, helping to ease the tension a little.

Zoey laundry bag Michigan game

6:55 pm...An enormous broken play from deep in the ND end for a HUGE touchdown. 95 yard ramble for a score. Notre Dame leads by three with 3:41 left in the game. I'm starting to feel like I've wasted four hours.

7:01 pm...I'm officially having a nervous breakdown. Don't expect much from me in these last three minutes.

7:04 pm...Interesting that fourth and inches feels exactly like a stroke.

7:08 pm...Someone please call 911. My chest hurts.

7:07 pm...One minute and eighteen seconds left in this game that went from boring to breathtaking in the span of a halftime. 2nd and 5 at the ND 17. Go Blue!

7:10 pm...3rd and five. Sound familiar? Michigan time out...Zoey is upset. I think that there's a little too much tension for this sensitive little girl. She doesn't like this kind of thing very much.

7:12 pm...Pass collected at the ND 2~!!!

7:13 pm...Denard Robinson TOUCHDOWN!!!!! UM 28 - ND 24...27 seconds left! Holy mother of Moeller!

7:15 pm...ND with two time outs...20 seconds left...God, I know that I don't really believe in you, but please, can you screw your alma mater over and let us have this one. As I type this Zoey is reading the letters on my Braylon Edwards jersey, and correctly. If I wasn't in the middle of a major coronary I'd be more impressed.

7:17 pm...BRUTAL LATE HIT CALL!!!! Six seconds left...hanging on tight but the referrees seem to hate Michigan today! Aren't they Big Ten officials? Notre Dame looking to score with a prayer and subsequent miracle.

7:19 pm...Time runs out on the Crist scramble and throw...MICHIGAN WINS!!!! And all is right with the world.

I'm out...thanks for your patience folks. Hope you enjoyed my nervous breakdown. Nice one huh Beth? I don't think I'll do this again. Now there's a little girl in the tub and I've got to get gone. Go Blue!


Blogger Beth said...

I am glad they called back the 2nd touchdown attempt. There was no way that ball was in.

September 11, 2010 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Beth said...


September 11, 2010 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm enjoying the live blogging. It's like I have company to watch the game...since I am home alone today.

September 11, 2010 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Damn that Dane Crist!!

September 11, 2010 at 5:52 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Awesome game! I had to leave in the middle of the third quarter to go out for dinner......BUT they had the game on in bar!!!! Of course I was the only one all the excited and was rudely ignoring my friend. I saw it all, the TD, the 27 secs on the clock. It was a day for Wolverines everywhere.

September 11, 2010 at 10:17 PM  

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