Things I must convince my daughter of before it's too late...

Sammy Hagar was waaay better than David Lee Roth.

The Minnesota Twins are responsible for cancer.

Mardi Gras beads that aren't earned at Mardi Gras...stupid.

Don't ever go to Mardi Gras.

Magnum PI is the best thing ever invented, that includes oxygen & PIzza Bob's Ham & Cheese subs.

SEC football is not better.

CBC Radio does not make you a better Canadian, although it helps.

Liking David Suzuki makes you a better Canadian, even if you're not Canadian.

Aviator glasses...not that cool.

Jack Nicholson...cool.

There's a direct correlation between a man's goatee and what kind of turd he is.

Don't stay in a nice hotel until your 30 years old.

Breakfast vs. lunch...breakfast.

Hate the playa AND the game.

CSNY live...practically better than anything else you'll pay to see, period.

Everyone should be a little bit of an LA Clippers fan...everyone.

Jump ball vs. possession arrow...jump ball.

Be careful of men wearing necklaces.

New York or LA...both.

Weekend jobs aren't usually worth it.

Kobe...flat out, Kobe.

Now watch this and ask yourself why you can't rock glasses like Patrick Ewing can rock glasses.