The Importance of Being Honest

"What's a not-gay way to ask him to go camping with me?"

- Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation

I think I want to camping, like right now, not soon...not someday...now. I want to drive out to the middle of nowhere, set up a tent, unpack all kinds of stupid #$%^ and maybe start a fire...eat badly, pee in the bushes, or maybe a really disgusting public washroom...fall asleep on the hard, cold, lumpy ground, and maybe wake up sweating in a nylon death oven. Sounds awesome...if you were the recipient of a half-botched lobotomy.

I used to camp...I once hiked the entire length of Big Sur, California. I used to ride Greyhound busses across the country to go rock climbing for a month in the desert. I ran summer camps. I was a dirty, filthy camping pseudo-hippy turd. Then I stayed at a New York hotel with a Central Park view, and watched a baseball game from an executive suite. I did a lot of other crap too, cool crap...crap that made me never want to sleep in a tent ever again, but I still think that we should take Zoey camping...not soon...not someday...now.

Camping isn't even fun, but it's necessary...write that down.