The Electra Kool Aid Acid Test

I want a beauty bike ...not something stupid expensive...it needs to be fun...it needs pedal breaks so I can do them wicked cool slide out stops...something all old and retro lookin' would suit me just fine...and it has to be big...6'3" and 240 lbs looks awfully stupid on a little bike.

Suggestions? For the past few years we've been drinking the Electra Kool Aid, but them sicles be expensive bro...We can't be affording them wheels. We be needing something more modest...like some Grannies unused Schwinn or somethin'...

One I get 'er I'm gonna build me a wicked Zedder cart off the back to drag that funster around in. She'd giggle herself to sleep I bet.

Why am I thinking bike in the middle of an Ontario February? 'Cause I found this site and now I can't sleep without dreams of aching calves and crazy cool rides.