WARNING

Children may cause you to lose sleep, may be responsible for anxiety and have been identified as the primary triggers of perpetual fatigue syndrome...a disorder that adversely affects your performance and perspective in all other facets of your life.

Children may be responsible for the early onset of apathy in the workplace. They cause financial stress and strain, and immeasurable health concerns including a substantial increase in one's tolerable gross factor.

Children have been identified as the most significant factor affecting adult social activities including, but not limited to, getting blind drunk at concerts, bonging beers at tailgate parties, and the general practice of simply forgetting to come home.

Children cause scurvy (not substantiated my actual medical research)

Children make parents do stupid stuff like write blogs, get tattoos, and take 6 am Photo Booth pictures on finger smudged Mac laptops.

Children are responsible for the economy.

Children also wake up smiling and make your day feel tolerable before you even get out of bed, at least, that's what Zoey did this morning...but be careful. In the words of the great hobbled prophet Shannon, "guns don't kill people...cute daughters do"...well, cute daughters AND LaMarr Woodley, I say.