The Bolzon Theory a.k.a. Bruce's Flub
Bruce making amends with the universe...getting things right
And here it is…The Bolzon Theory, or as it may more commonly be referred to from this point forward…”Bruce’s Flub.” It might not be valid at all, I mean consider the source – me – but it’s a theory and it’s the one I’m sticking with.
This is Michigan - Ohio State week (and the order in which you make reference to each school is wildly important, if only just to annoy Buckeyes), and hardly anyone is talking about the significance of Bruce Springsteen’s flub at The Palace of Auburn Hills, MICHIGAN last Friday night. Depending upon how you want to define a week, you know when one ends and the next begins, the Boss dropped a bomb on the sweaty, geeked out crowd of middle aged “Nebraska” fanatics by referring to the locale as Ohio just as the rivalry week was about to begin. That’s not cool.
June and I have some good friends, The Bolzons, and they’re about as cool a family as you can imagine. They were there at The Palace that night and so we’ve named this theory, in part, after them (that way we can blame them if it isn’t valid).
The theory is that the inevitable karmic balance of the universe is at risk if the Wolverines don’t defeat the Buckeyes in response to Bruce’s flub. You know, balance the ledger, if you will. As Bruce repeatedly referred to the Palace crowd as Ohioans the odds were stacking up in the Wolverines favor as the world was slowly tilting on its axis from such a sensational gaff -- only an unexpected win over the much favored Buckeyes this Saturday will right the wrongs perpetrated by the Boss before all of Michigan and his vaunted E Street Band. For Christ’s sake, even Max Weinberg knew he was less than 100 miles from Ann Arbor. The universe is out of whack and only a stunner on Saturday will right it. I bet you couldn’t even find the big dipper in the night sky now that Bruce has gone and knackered up the orbit of all that is normal. It’s not just us here in Wolverine Nation that need this win on Saturday…the universe itself is desperate for it.
If the theory is wrong we’ll just regroup and call for Rich Rod’s head…that seems to be what everyone else is doing even as Bruce Springsteen walks away unscathed. The humanity…