Welcome to the Big Suck Noah! I Mean...what? Where am I?

Meet Noah Joseph Finley, slayer of dragons and hitter of triples...scraped knee expert and digger of worms...4th grade heartbreaker and heartbroken every year the Cubs blow it...

Noah was born a few days ago and already he's got the best resume in the pile, the best left handed shot from the baseline, and a perfect grasp of past and present tenses. He's less than a week old and he's already the guy who refuses to rat out his friends, and the kid who forces the cheater to own up to it.

Noah Finley is the easiest kid to coach, the most fun in the mini-van, and he listens to his parents. His friends actually get a glass to pour their milk into rather than drinking straight from the carton in the Finley fridge. Noah can eat four hot dogs at the baseball game and he never ever wants a new hat...he likes his old one. He dates nice girls.

Noah Joseph Finley jokes around about becoming a Cardinals fan but never does because he loves his dad too much. He goes to camp every summer and writes long letters home to his Mom. She cries when he's away at camp more than he does. He gets straight B's with the occasional A and he fails just one course ever... in high school, math I think, but the failure gives him perspective. He never has one traffic accident and he can parallel park right away. He can run fast.

Noah likes root beer and the color blue. He's got a lifetime 289-3-1 record in "Connect Four" and only ruins one sofa in his lifetime but that's in college so who cares. He's as fun as Colin Wallace, as kind as Coop, and as well-spoken as Keith Welch. He reads a lot, and can draw his little ass off. He buys flowers for girls because he wants to, not because he has to, and he jumps 536 homemade bike ramps in his life time without incident. He thinks race cars are stupid but race car drivers are pretty damn cool. He never once wants to ride a motorcycle (Chantelle, you owe me one for that)...He grows up into the kind of man women call beautiful and men call friend. He marries the right girl and never misses a Christmas with his family, never.

Welcome to the Big Suck Noah...I think you're gonna like it. I sure do.