The Zoey Blog: Welcome to the Big Suck Noah! I Mean...what? Where am I? FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Welcome to the Big Suck Noah! I Mean...what? Where am I?

Noah Finley

Meet Noah Joseph Finley, slayer of dragons and hitter of triples...scraped knee expert and digger of worms...4th grade heartbreaker and heartbroken every year the Cubs blow it...

Noah was born a few days ago and already he's got the best resume in the pile, the best left handed shot from the baseline, and a perfect grasp of past and present tenses. He's less than a week old and he's already the guy who refuses to rat out his friends, and the kid who forces the cheater to own up to it.

Noah Finley is the easiest kid to coach, the most fun in the mini-van, and he listens to his parents. His friends actually get a glass to pour their milk into rather than drinking straight from the carton in the Finley fridge. Noah can eat four hot dogs at the baseball game and he never ever wants a new hat...he likes his old one. He dates nice girls.

Noah Joseph Finley jokes around about becoming a Cardinals fan but never does because he loves his dad too much. He goes to camp every summer and writes long letters home to his Mom. She cries when he's away at camp more than he does. He gets straight B's with the occasional A and he fails just one course ever... in high school, math I think, but the failure gives him perspective. He never has one traffic accident and he can parallel park right away. He can run fast.

Noah likes root beer and the color blue. He's got a lifetime 289-3-1 record in "Connect Four" and only ruins one sofa in his lifetime but that's in college so who cares. He's as fun as Colin Wallace, as kind as Coop, and as well-spoken as Keith Welch. He reads a lot, and can draw his little ass off. He buys flowers for girls because he wants to, not because he has to, and he jumps 536 homemade bike ramps in his life time without incident. He thinks race cars are stupid but race car drivers are pretty damn cool. He never once wants to ride a motorcycle (Chantelle, you owe me one for that)...He grows up into the kind of man women call beautiful and men call friend. He marries the right girl and never misses a Christmas with his family, never.

Welcome to the Big Suck Noah...I think you're gonna like it. I sure do.


Anonymous Adam said...

I'll be sure to read this to him when I see him next, I'm sure he will love it as much as me!

October 22, 2009 at 9:41 PM  
Anonymous Chantelle said...

Wow. Just Wow. If he turns out half this cool I will be the proudest Mommy ever. I hope he picks up a few things from his Uncle Bri and Aunt June too....

Thanks Brian. Best gift ever.


October 27, 2009 at 2:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Brian...At 4:20am one's eyes are a little groggy but this made my eyes open wide to make room for the tears. This is so beautiful. What a great adopted Uncle you are going to be for Noah! You and June are very special people.

Grandma T. (a.k.a. Carol Tremblay)

October 27, 2009 at 4:44 AM  
Blogger Brian DeWagner said...

If he wasn't gonna be unarguably a cool kid I wouldn't venture towards pseudo-adopting him, but since he will most certainly be the coolest of kids I will step out on that limb...and I can't stop laughing as I type this.

October 27, 2009 at 3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never even saw this when you first posted this. It's absolutely beautiful and inspiring. You paint a perfect picture of my nephew and the man we will ALL help him to be. With the friends and family he will have, he will live up to every word you type.

Thank you Brian

Aunty T.

February 12, 2010 at 4:07 AM  

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