I wish my name was Edwardo, except spelled with a "U"...

Yeah, you read that right...I wish my name was Edwardo except spelled with the letter "U"...which I suppose would make it simply "Eduardo" but it's far more fun to type the whole damn thing out (actually not really, in fact, it's far more cumbersome). Why do I wish for such a meaningless, mundane thing as changing my name from Brian to Edwardo except spelled with a "U," you ask? Well, because Alfonso was already taken by the little black kid who hung around Michael jackson and then grew up to become Carlton, that's why? Stupid question...

So sitting around all day helping to steer wayward funsters through great big heaping piles of poop got me to thinking...

First...I shouldn't ever use the word poop.

Second...my life kicks ass pretty good. What the hell am I ever stressing over?

Third...coffee and tuna salad are a worse combo than Pam and Tommy Lee.

I've got a pretty good life going here on the beside Lake Huron, on the outskirts of Detroit, and on the bottom edge of Canada. I make decent moola (please, allow me to indulge myself with the term "moola")... I can spend said moola with little regard for the safety of myself or others...I go places, lots and lots of places...I do things, a whole bunch of things...When even the notion of moving elsewhere slips from my fingertips I get random messages telling me to "@#$% off and stay," which although it sounds like a bit of an oxymoron is actually just a pretty awesome and sweet compliment...and I think I want to stick around, maybe build a stupid company that makes stupid products with ungodly profits and then maybe write a book too, you know, just for fun...and then I could still do everything I do now, just with more money and way more stupid stories. How's that?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we're not going anywhere, it's official...and please, feel free to call me Edwardo, except, you know, spelled with the letter "U"...