Eddie Vedder used my toilet...I wish

I had it planned out pretty well. I would download Pearl Jam's new single, The Fixer, and the accompanying video. It would rock my junk off. I would !#%&ing love it.

Then, I'd write an inspired post about how face numbingly awesome it is. I would say things like "PERFECT PEARL JAM" and "BOW DOWN TO EDDIE VEDDER, LOWLY ROCK SUBJECTS!"

Then, someone would sweetify my post by chucking it up on Pearl Jam's Twitter and a bunch of Pearl Jam message boards and then legions of Pearl Jam fans would bombard "The Zoey Blog. The stat counter would freak out like it was Y2K (or, you know, like if I mentioned Jenn Sterger's name).

Then someone would tell Eddie about how awesome my post is, he'd call me, we'd grab a couple of pints in some hip cafe/bar in Seattle. We would have an instant soul connection and become the bestest of friends. Then he'd come to my house. We'd barbecue. We'd talk about Neil Young and Ticketmaster. IT WAS GONNA BE SO #$%&ING AWESOME! Only none of that happened. I did finally get the record though, and she's a beaut!