Zedder's First Lesson on Boys Compliments of Dad

Zoey loves herself some OT three pointers…just loves ‘em.

The Zedder let out a squeal this morning when I told her that Derrick Fisher sealed the Lakers Game 4 win with a super schweeet three as the clock wound down in overtime. She was a little upset that she missed it but then we distracted her with June’s breasts and she forgot all about it. It didn’t take long for her to start yammering on and on about tonight’s Game 7 between Detroit and Pittsburgh for the Stanley Cup though.

ZO: I can’t believe you didn’t take me to Game 5 Dad. Some people would consider that child abuse.
Dad: Child abuse is if I let you be a Yankees fan or go to college in Ohio. Missing Game 5 is not child abuse.

ZO: What happens if Pittsburgh wins tonight Dad?
Dad: People will think that Sidney Crosby is cooler than he actually is.

ZO: Dad, will everyone shave their beards when the game’s over?
Dad: Yup, even Chuck Gaidica

ZO: Why do they grow beards in the first place?
Dad: That’s because hockey players have terrible hygiene honey. Remember that, hockey players have terrible hygiene, and they’re mostly gross and stinky. Can you remember that until you’re 18 years old?

ZO: I think so. Is it important that I remember that?
Dad: Yes, dear, it’s REALLY important. If you hang out with hockey players your hair will fall out and you’ll go blind. Did you know that?

ZO: What’s hair?
Dad: Whad’ya mean “what’s hair,” that’s what beards are made of…that’s what’s on people’s heads, you weirdo

ZO: Dad, I’m only 4 months old.
Dad: Almost five…

ZO: Still.
Dad: You’re right.

ZO: Hey Dad, if Detroit wins Stanley’s Cup what will Stanley drink from?
Dad: Stanley isn’t really a cup, honey, it’s a trophy.

ZO: Then why do they call it a cup and why do they drink from it.
Dad: ‘Cause hockey players are dumb honey.

ZO: Hockey players are stinky AND dumb?
Dad: That’s right.

ZO: I don’t think I like hockey players.
Dad: That’s good sweetie. Me neither.

ZO: Didn’t you play hockey Daddy?
Dad: Nope.

ZO: Mom said that you played hockey.
Dad: Mom is a liar.

ZO: Mom’s not a liar. Is she?
Dad: Yup, she is. Ask her if she’s cooler than me.

AWKWARD PAUSE…

ZO: She said that she’s definitely cooler than you.
Dad: See, liar.

ZO: Dad, when do the Lakers play again?
Dad: Saturday, I think. Why?

ZO: I like the Lakers. Basketball players aren’t dumb and stinky too are they?
Dad: They're worse.

ZO: Are all boys dumb and stinky Daddy?
Dad: Yup...all of 'em.