The Curious Case of Courtney Lee (and the lay up that almost was)
Zoey and Dad pouring over Game 2 of the NBA Finals. Why is Dad wearing a Montreal Expos jersey?
Zoey has some serious questions about Dwight Howard's basketball IQ, and Jeff Van Gundy's all around intelligence so we scooted over to NBA.com to see what everyone had to say about last night's Game 2. When that wasn't enough we shot on over to the LA Times for a different angle on the same events. Although the Lakers pulled the win out in OT Zoey wasn't at all impressed with what she was hearing. She may be getting a little too opinionated for her diapers.
Naturally, she missed the entire game last night because a four month old has to sleep regardless of the NBA Finals and so Dad filled her in first thing this morning. She waited patiently for Dad all day and then eagerly sat down with Dad when he got home from work to watch a replay of the game on the computer. She was happy enough with what the scoreboard read at the end but she had a number of questions that Dad did his best to answer:
ZO: Dad, does Kobe always look that scary?
Dad: No, he usually looks bored.
ZO: Dad, is Phil Jackson really in the hall of fame?
Dad: Yep, weird huh?
ZO: Was that Greg Oden playing for LA?
Dad: No sweetie, that's Andrew Bynum
ZO: I think I like Hedo Turkoglu but I don't know why?
Dad: Maybe you just feel sorry for him more than anything?
ZO: What's the deal with Bynum?
Dad: Well Zed, if you take the value of his contract extension, $64 Brazilian dollars, and divide it by 7 Trillion you have his vertical leap measured in inches. Does that explain it or no?
Dad: Uhmmm, okay.
ZO: Dad, can Lamar Odom be my Godfather?
Dad: He's everyone's Godfather honey.
ZO: How come Pau Gasol is so good Daddy?
Dad: It's kind of like god's gift to him for being so ugly.
ZO: What's "god"?
Dad: Don't worry about it, honey.
At this point Zoey just shrugs and asks for June's boob. In between disgusting sounding slurps (it stopped being cute after about the first month or so, now it just sounds gluttonous) she kicks out more questions.
ZO: I've been out of the womb a whole 4 months now and even I know that you can't leave your feet and then make decisions with the ball? How come Kobe does it all the time?
Dad: He's really just a hologram designed by Disney to David Stern's strict specifications. Holograms are allowed to leave their feet.
ZO: Dad, what's a hologram?
Dad: Uhmmm...no one really knows
ZO: Do the referees hate Orlando Daddy?
Dad: No honey, they just love the Lakers, that's all.
Zo switches boobies...and begins slurping ravenously again. The questions are pretty tough to distinguish between gurgles but to be perfectly honest I mostly just wanted to type the word "boobie" in there.
ZO: Daddy, you said that in college Redick was good?
Dad: He was, sweetie, but he went to college at Duke so...you know...
ZO: I do?
Dad: You will.
ZO: Dad, why are my pants so baggy?
Dad: Shut up and watch the game kid.
ZO: Why are you laughing at Rashard Lewis?
Dad: I'm not baby. I'm laughing at Seattle.
ZO: Dad, how many steps can you take before it's travelling?
Dad: If you're a Laker, five.
ZO: Dad, what happen's if Courtney Lee makes that long tossed lay up?
Dad: That's that "god" thing you were asking about earlier.
The questions started to trail off as the Zedder slowly slipped into a satisfied sleep. I'm glad she didn't ask me any questions about Rafer Alston or Stan Van Gundy. I'm not sure how I'd have answered them.