The Zoey Blog: At least Hank Zetterberg never sucked a booger...that we know of FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

At least Hank Zetterberg never sucked a booger...that we know of

Zoey Dad April 21

Watching the Red WIngs playoff game with the Zedder and she insists on referring to Henrik Zetterberg as "Hank Zedderburg"'s kind of funny, especially 'cause she can't really talk at all and Dad's just making this crap up.

Zoey has developed a bit of a fascination with televised sports...more so than all that CSI or American Idol type junk. We know it's just the contrast of light and dark and the movement etc...but we like to pretend like she knows what she's watching. In fact just the other day we interpreted her googly nonsense to be a complaint about the kind of basketball coach Michael Curry is. She might be right in her assertion that he's not the right guy for the Pistons job. She also thinks Matthew Stafford is a tool and not the right pick for the Lions, and just tonight she spit up her two cents on Colin Campbell's disciplining saavy in the NHL...she mostly thinks he's a pushover, lacky for the owners...mostly. She was on Ron MacLean's side of the argument the other night.

Anyway...the Zedder is all fine and dandy, and she really must be for Dad to use a term like "Dandy." She's jamming everything in her mouth, leaning and reaching for things she wants, and struggling to get rid of the last remaining vestiges of her cold...As adults we rid ourselves of mucus pretty easily, not her...she doesn't even know what mucus is. She hates Mom for invading her nostrils with the odd saline dipped Q-Tip and loathes Dad for that saline squirt she inhaled from no less than four inches from her nostril (nice aim Dad) so she's running out of parents to dole love and concern out on her. If she stays resistant to efforts to combat mucus she's gonna have to move in with the neighbors.

In the grossest story we've ever heard Zo's Baachan told us how her father in Japan used to jam his mouth over the kids noses and suck the goods out...WHOA!....That sounds nuts! Who does that? June's Jiichan that's who! Here I am typing nonsense about Zoey's make-believe butchering of Henrik Zetterberg's name and there he was fifty or so years ago sucking boogs out of his kids noses. Some people might interpret that as good, selfless parenting but I think it's just asking for a stomach full of snot. Different strokes for different folks I guess...I shudder.

Footnote: After reading this post June admitted that she even considered the old Japanese nose suck in a moment of desperation...she just couldn't do it. Are you kidding me!? Who is this person I married? If she had ventured into that weirdest of ancient Asian mucus removal techniques I'm pretty sure we'd never be able to kiss ever again. I know it's my own kid's boogs and all, but they don't naturally develop on the roof of my mouth like stalactites do they? No, they don't, hence they will remain either in my child's nose or swallowed and in her belly, or on the end of a Q-Tip...never in any moment of weakness will they ever end up in my mouth nor should they find the same fate in June's mouth. There's a reason why every previous generation lived shorter lives than we do...and I'm betting baby booger sucking had something to do with it.


Blogger said...

ooooooh, the old booger suck!!! yeah, I'd do it. no wait, I totally would NOT do that. I didn't even consider that. in fact, I didn't even consider the Q-tip! I honestly tried to convince Stace to let me use tweezers (!!) on Sammy's snozzer to get out some stubborn crustage. I promised to be extra gentle, like that Operation board game....still no go. bzzzzzzzz, don't touch the sides! I'm a bad daddy.

April 22, 2009 at 1:21 PM  

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