The Zoey Blog: Faux hipster cred via children's literature... FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Faux hipster cred via children's literature...

June and lil 'Zo in her most favoritest position ever...well, for now

I'm watching my wife and child groove thru the kitchen to Bach's string concertos which I suppose doesn't typically lend itself to grooving in the traditional sense but there they are grooving nonetheless. The Bach a la Yo-Yo Ma is a generous gift from Uncle Scitty several hours distant and so far Zoey gets along just fine with the cello. In fact, aside from running tap water it might be her very best friend to date.

My eyes are heavy and my coffee is getting cold and for some unknown reason I've just spent five minutes considering purchasing PASTE Magazine's "Indie Rock Alphabet Book." I'm not really sure what I was thinking since I can't stand that kind of sh!t. Like I want my daughter to learn her ABC's using Animal Collective, Bon Iver, and Calexico? No. Whatever happened to A is for apple, B is for book, and C is for contemptuous? I am, however, supremely (and that means a whole lot) interested in the artwork credited conspicuously (another great C word) to "Owen the Owen." That sounds worth the effort of inspection. The rest is just silly. I can make my own book rather than pay $12.95 plus taxes and shipping and duty for faux hipster feelings of alternative parenting. thanks.

If you want to be a cool parent don't buy your way into the club. We're all allowed a few errors in judgement and some random transgressions, sure, but the PASTE Magazine "Indie Rock Alphabet Book? Nope.

If you want to be the cool parent, which we all do, then first you should distinguish who you want to be cool for...

If it's your kid then you're in trouble.

If it's your friends then you better work on your self-esteem.

If it for you and yourself alone, better, but not still not ideal.

You should be doing your best to be cool parents to impress Dennis Hopper...that's right, I said it...Dennis Hopper. There's really no other reason to waste the energy.

Seriously, it should be more about sincerity and genuine acts. If you can be yourself and somehow that translates into cool then smile and move along to soccer practice. You accomplished something so fleeting and transitory that only you will remember it.

The "Indie Rock Alphabet Book"...please. How 'bout some of these beauty titles? This is what my kid will be reading...

Sammy Gets Stoked...There's flip flops and sand and sun and Sammer.

Elli's Advice...There's this precocious little girl and an elephant in a tree.

Liam's Giant Job...A little boy, an unfortunately pink monster and an ending as sweet as a Timmy Ho's triple triple.

There are others too but those are my faves, homemade, so let the hipsters be damned. Them beauties are basement painted and carved out of bedroom imaginations and boredom. Just do a quick transfer over to le computer for some desktop this and thats and BLAM...straight to hipster hell for the "Indie Rock Alphabet Book."


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