The Zoey Blog: To sleep or not to sleep...that is the question FINAL - COVER UNIVERSE EXPLORERS ORDER

Monday, January 26, 2009

To sleep or not to sleep...that is the question

I'm quite sure that I'm supposed to be sleeping. I'm not. I returned home from the hospital with every intention of sleeping but I'm not having much luck.

It's been a nice and easy night...Netta dropped by, then upon leaving got summarily stuck in a our driveway...I dunno? Then once we shovelled Aunt Netta out June and I slipped up to the 6th Floor of the Hopper...settled in with a baby monitor and "The Black Knight" and waited for...well, I don't really know what we waited for but we were waiting together and that was good enough.

You know, it's always good enough...every single minute. That's what you're supposed to say when you're a husband, right? But I mean it...every single second of every one of those minutes. It always has been, right from the start, even when some people wondered how it all fell together in the first place. I usually just shrug. I dunno...I don't remember a time when she wasn't the entirety of my every pre-occupation. I forget what it was like before her and I've never really been brave enough to imagine what happens without her. There's a lot of things out there that leave me clueless, a lot of stuff I don't have a chance at knowing but not this thing...not this one good, beautiful thing...I know that it's always good enough. It's always been.

So now I go to sleep, or try...I get up and go back to her...early, really, really, early...and then we change how the whole story ends...just like every other time before. This one's no different, not really. Sure, it's big, but then so are all of the emotions and experiences and love and hope that made this. Besides, we'll be doing it together and that's always been good enough for me. Now there'll just be more of us to be together with. That's a math equation I finally like.

I'd better get some sleep. There's a little girl waiting to meet us in the morning. Goodnight's gonna be one helluva of a morning. Some unlucky kid gets a lifetime of calling me, how do you begin to apologize for that? :)


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