Daydreaming in the sunshine...a sixty degree late November morning. It's Thanksgiving a few miles from here, across that river. The Grateful Dead are streaming, Live at The Spectrum from April 6th, 1985
. Right now it's Uncle John's Band
, and Jerry's signature guitar riffs are stealing me away to someplace I'd rather be. Like sitting to the south of the pier in San Clemente, nearest the lifeguard tower, soaking up the ocean and waiting for the train to rumble past just behind me...watching middle aged men with no apparent jobs or place to be, surfing. The coffee is from the Starbucks up on El Camino Real, and my return flight home isn't for weeks. There's money in my pockets and maybe tomorrow we'll go to Mexico, or maybe not. We'll go somewhere, up to Dana Point maybe, or Laguna, not far. It's a nice dream, but the cars from Murphy Road, just outside our front window, remind me that I'm not in Southern California, and that it's a sick day. An ear infection the nurse practitioner suspects. We'll confirm it on Monday. Tomorrow's a PD Day and maybe I can string together four days of idle rest and daydreaming, like this.
I'm not interested in football today, no Lions game, or turkey dinner. Those are your traditions, not mine, although they're fine, and sometimes curiously seductive, they're not mine. I'm starting to realize that I don't give two $%i!?s about football most days, just on Saturday perhaps. Then, of course, there's Black Friday tomorrow, and the madness that overtakes even some of the people I know. Insanity. I just want sunshine and Pacific ocean breezes, maybe a morning nap. I'm feeling incredibly indulgent.
I made Maggie smile this morning, which shouldn't feel so much like an accomplishment since she smiles all the time. Still, it was a nice way to wake up. Now I'm dizzy again, and wishing I just felt like myself, even if lately that means sick. It's been a ridiculous year. I'm leaning on the notion that perhaps I'm burning through a few years of bad luck all in one tortuous stretch. I lingered in bed this morning, occupied Maggie while June showered, dressed Zoey, and didn't even bother to take care of myself until they had left for the library. Now, clean and feeling woozy at best, I'm ready to go back to sleep. It was a late night of Gone With The Wind
and ear drops. Not a perfect combination but they'll do in a pinch.
It's almost December, when did that happen? Wasn't I paying attention? Not likely with the pre-occupations I've suffered this year. It seems like it was just Halloween and now we're discussing when to put up the Christmas tree. Zoey is playing with Rudolph toys and I nearly bought her a plush Santa hat the other day, on a whim. My God it's all sped by so quickly. Good in one sense. Good riddance to 2012 and it's many frustrations. I'll be happy to welcome 2013 onto our calendars.
It struck me this quiet morning, just how hopeful we still are for the future. It's when that hope fades that we'd better start to worry, but for now, it burns bright and influences decisions and direction. If you don't lose hope, you don't lose opportunity. So I keep hoping that this sickly year ends a new healthy one begins. I've donated my pint of blood, and gave at the office, and put in my time. It's someone else's turn to endure nonsense now. Knee surgery and recovery, back, shoulders and neck, wisdom teeth, a blood pressure spike and freak out, now an ear infection. I shudder to imagine what else I might tackle before January sets in.
I've got simple desires to end the year. I want a good birthday. I want a good Christmas. I want to find myself somewhere inspiring over the Christmas break. I don't care where, as long as it leaves me smiling and energized. I want to be healthy. That's it. That's all. Kind of makes daydreaming pretty easy.