Sunday, August 5, 2012

It Takes Two...

There's probably room for two, I tell myself...I mean, one for Zoey and this surely beautiful baby-to-be, and then one for me.  Certainly there's room for that.  There should be that after all, shouldn't there?  I mean, I can't keep blathering my silly self all over this blog that is supposed to be for my daughter.  I can't keep pouring my occasionally sorry sad, man-boy self into a blog that is mostly meant for family and friends, and was never, ever at all meant to be a place for me to, you know, be my sometimes neurotic, and embarrassed self?  There really should be two blogs...two places to be the kind of man that I want to be, at least in terms of typing, and as far as emotional purging goes.

Tonight a friend of ours, whom I've always found to be oh-so sweet and kind, always...always...gave me a muted kind of trouble...a tempered and half-smirk kind of crap for blogging so much less of late and it struck me that she knows me better by reading this nonsense day after day than most, if not all of my so-called friends...which is much more than fine.  She's the type of girl that you're happy to have know you, and more than happy to come to the conclusion that she knows a terribly lot about you, but it strikes me strange that she has a version of me and my life that my own best of male friends will never have.  Mostly because they've never been here.  They don't know that this exists or if they do they don't care.  It's stupid, or I'm too open and expressive and #$%& them I say.  I'll take our friend Robin knowing our lives more intimately than oh-so many others any day rather than change my words or steer my ideas away from this super intimate place that this blog has become.  Surely, it reminds me, that there's room for two.

Why two? Why on earth would you get the notion that there should be two places like this?  Well, one to dote over daughters, and then another to zip open my head and heart and be my absolute self without grandparents and others having to sift through my most personal of revelations.  Sometimes a guy just needs a place to be a guy. The kind of guy that uses words like lovely and posts photos of random things that his guy friends would think were stupid but that he's happy to love because that's just it....he loves them.  I think two blogs would be just fine...and perhaps timely, if not completely appropriate.  You came here to read about Zoey, not hear what kind of music I can't get out of my head.  There's room for both, I think.

It's strange how the revelation began.  Just this afternoon I fiddled with a new name and design and it felt fun and right, and then tonight Robin tells us that she reads the blog every day and just then the epiphany strikes me that it is such an important thing that people that want to know you actually know you, and others hell with them.  It's somewhat less important that Zoey's grandparents read about the ridiculousness I can sometimes post here.  Will the two blogs be linked together?  Of course they will.  Will someone be forced to read both?  No.  If you want to, that would be wonderful...which is just the point.  I want a place where I can type the word wonderful even if I'm quite certain none of my guy friends have ever uttered it.  Some things are quite this blog, and the people who read it.  There's room for two though.  This, I'm certain.

The second might look like this.  You don't have to read it, of course, but I have a feeling some people will...the kind of people I'm comfortable knowing so much about me...the kind that give me trouble for not typing so much lately.

Two blogs...I have to get used to the idea.  We're still working on how we transition this one to a place where there's two children that each deserve it's attention.  Titles and designs and ideas and...two blogs.  What am I thinking?  Maybe I should just "never mind the thinking" and just type.


Blogger Beth said...

2, 3, 5...whatever. I read it everyday too and wish I could write like this. Everyday.

August 5, 2012 at 12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your words touched me, they always do and made me cry. My sister says I always cry....I always do that too. I consider myself a very lucky person to have such a wonderful friendship with June and yourself and look forward to seeing all 4 of you more often than we have in the past.

Doesn't matter how many blogs you decide to create, don't ever stop what you are so very good at and you always have a follower in me.


August 8, 2012 at 9:03 AM  

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